Turn off the television?  Shut down the computer?  THIS is the key to eliminating future financial woes????

My clients are often incredulous when I first suggest that they will be better able to avoid financial distress and perhaps even achieve financial success if they heed this seemingly simple advice for their family.  Let me make my case.

Americans are spending between 21 to 30 hours a week watching television and another 15 to 20 hours a week online.  Add this to the time they spend working, sleeping and engaging in other non-social activities, they are left with very little time to foster relationships.  I would suggest that as a society we are living in a social dessert.   Couples do not talk to each other.  Children and parents do not communicate. Marriages are dissolving at record rates and becoming less common.   Children have few friends and very frequently have little real social contact with their parents.  We do not know our neighbors.  We seldom meet with our co-workers or friends.  Churches and social clubs have fewer and fewer members.  When was the last time that you got together with friends?  Do you hear children playing together in your neighborhood?  We all are thirsting for connections, for relationships, but we leave ourselves no time to find them or nurture them.  Perhaps this hunger is what makes Facebook so popular, and yet, Facebook really provides no real relationships, but merely a facade, a false front of relationships.  How many “friends” do you have?

When scientists have studied happiness one of the clearest findings is that humans are social creatures and that close social relationships are a primary factor in human happiness.  Close relationships provide us: the ability to love and be loved; validation of self worth; a source of help in times of trouble; mutual understanding; security; diversity to help us grow and learn; fun and celebration; and support to make positive changes in our life.   A second important factor found in people who are happy is that  they feel connected to at least one community, such as a church community or a social club.   So it seems clear that happiness in large part is related to our connections with others.   Indeed, when I ask my clients to describe times that they have been happy, inevitably they describe events in which they shared something with someone they are close to.  So if one has few if any relationships then it is natural that they will suffer from unhappiness.  I would posit that our American society is heavily populated with unhappy people with nominal relationships.    If we are unhappy, we shall seek ways to be happy.

Now enter the marketers intent on selling products.  What do they tell us on a constant and regular basis?  They tell us that the key to happiness is the ownership of whatever it is that they want to sell.  They tell our children that if they want to be happy and have good relationships with parents and friends, then they need to have this or that toy, or wear this clothing The advertising might be very direct such as the recent Direc TV commercials “Don’‘t wake up in a roadside ditch, get Direc TV”.     Or it may be more subtle, showing pictures and videos of happy people, happy families.  The inference is that you too can be happy, just like these people.  Just BUY, BUY, BUY, BUY!!!  And even if we recognize the lie that the marketers tell us, still and yet most of us have the impulse to shop or acquire possessions when we are unhappy.

Now enter the credit industry.   You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to have the things to make you happy.  Buy now, pay later.  And the cash is handed out like candy at a parade.  In 2011 the total consumer debt reached its highest point in the last decade despite the downturn of the economy.

My point is not so much to turn off the television.  My point is that we need relationships.  This is the key to happiness.  We must find the time to spend with our families and friends.  We must swim against the tide and seek water in our social dessert.  To do this, it seems that turning off the television is the first big step towards happiness.  This will give us 30 extra hours a week to develop the relationships that we crave and find the happiness that we desire.  And maybe, just maybe, we will spend less, charge less and save more.  And maybe our children will have enough of a relationship with us to care for us when we are old.

Cactus Bloom at the Alamo

I returned Sunday, April 29, 2012 from attending the 20th annual NACBA (National Association of Consumer Bankruptcy Attorneys) Conference.  As always the conference is jammed packed with educational programs to keep the NACBA members fully updated on the developments in Bankruptcy Law.   It is a testament to the dedication of the attorneys who are NACBA members, that the late Saturday afternoon program on the new rules regarding the National Mortgage Settlement was jam packed.  Most educational conferences I have attended do not even try to have a late Saturday afternoon program due to poor attendance.

Friday:

Friday morning was occupied reviewing the last year of new case law, new rules and efforts by NACBA to somewhat even the playing field that was so severely tipped in favor of creditors by the change in bankruptcy laws in 2006.  In particular, NACBA is working hard to get congress to repeal the law making private student loans non-dischargable.  I ended the morning attending a seminar on handling secured loans in Bankruptcy and the loss of the retain and pay option (often called the “ride through”).   In, some jurisdictions with more liberal judges, ways have been crafted to backdoor the ride through.  I doubt such methods will work here in Wyoming, or any of the 10th circuit jurisdictions.  Our luncheon speaker discussed common problems in cases and ways to avoid the thorns.  In the afternoon I attended programs on the new rules which require Mortgage Holders to make disclosures as part and parcel of the claims process, and a session on reverse mortgages and the effect of bankruptcy on reverse mortgages.  While we have not seen many reverse mortgages yet, this is a growing trend among the baby-boomers.

Saturday

Saturday morning I attended a good session on the means test, and a poor one on getting inside your debtor’s mind.   The late morning session discussed a rather significant disparity  between the black population and all others in filing Chapter 13 bankruptcies. It seems that a much higher percentage of black debtors file Chapter 13 bankruptcies.  No final conclusions were suggested, but the evidence seems that to some extent attorneys seem to steer the black population into Chapter 13s more than other populations.  Hopefully we can reverse this trend.

For me, the Saturday afternoon sessions were the best.  Usually I find ethics CLE programs to be a bit boring.  But the program on avoiding conflicts of interests was stimulating and did not last long enough.  The “Stump the Chumps” session was engaging and presented excellent discussions of some very thorny legal problems that some of the attendee’s were having.  Finally the late Saturday session on the new Mortgage Settlement will prove very useful in helping my clients deal with their delinquent mortgages.  For those who have had a mortgage foreclosure between January 1, 2008 through December of 2011, the debtors may be entitled to $1,500 to $2,000.

Sunday

Due to flight issues, I was only able to attend the first session of the morning on student loans dealing with using separate classifications in Chapter 13s and the issues of hardship discharge.

San Antonio

It was Fiesta at San Antonio, a feast of party and parades.  Since I was pretty fully occupied by the conference, I did not participate much, but did make it to NIOSA (Night in Old San Antonio) one evening and sampled the food and a bit of the beverages available there.  Most entertaining was the musicians, who played music varying between Jazz to Celtic.  But I have to say many of the characters that attended NIOSA also provided their own brand of entertainment.  Prior to the convention I was able to tour the Alamo and get a sense of the history of that location and its importance to Texas and Texans.

Without a doubt, the Riverwalk is the gem of San Antonio.  I have not seen a more romantic or beautiful man made facility.  The persons who dreamed the dream of the river walk and undertook its construction should be an inspiration to city fathers everywhere.  The Riverwalk was constructed in the late 1930s and early 40s and is the cornerstone of San Antonio’s tourism market.  I seriously doubt that San Antonio would attract a 10th of its tourist trade if the city had not had the foresight to make this flood control project the amazing and beautiful place that it is.  Congratulations San Antonio.   Well done!!!

The Riverwalk - San Antonio, Texas